She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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