when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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