Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
vagina is talking i cant
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
