I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We are two peas in an std pod
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
