Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
