I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
bring money and cleavage
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
