just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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