if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
