I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
