Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
