you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
