She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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