Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just puked most of my soul out..
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