i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
