Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
