You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
