Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
