i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
