I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
