They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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