textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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