I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
only if we run a train.
done.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
