I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
