btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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