I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
