Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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