Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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