so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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