She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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