Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
