He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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