It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize