Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
