i jhust puked up my retainher.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and she was petting her beer can
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
