I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
