Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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