In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
