hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
