you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
