Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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