I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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