Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize