One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
