so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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