New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
