I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm just crazy horny about you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
