**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
not ubering you a puppy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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