she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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