you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
