Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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