Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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