My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
