You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
