I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
