Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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