i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
