I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
