I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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