Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
